My babies were cute and gorgeous and every day they provided me with lots of material for my blog. As did my then teenage daughter. I did not worry about unintentionally invading Charlotte's privacy because she always read what I wrote and I knew that she would have had no difficulty objecting in the strongest possible terms if I ever overstepped the mark! But, she didn't object and I felt that the story was unfolding as it should. As for the babies, well they had the anonymity of babyhood to protect them. I watched them grow. I cared for them and nurtured them and I tried to reflect on the days spent in our gentle, quiet orbit of home and familiar faces. Caring for very young children kept me firmly rooted in the present moment for most of the day and sitting down of an evening when the children were in bed to compose my blog was a precious space for reflection
But now they have their own thoughts and ideas, beliefs and imaginations. It is more difficult for me to speak on their behalf and I feel uneasy doing so.
This is the main reason I have been blogging infrequently of late. I have been pondering.
I have been living our days and wondering how to avoid crossing the line.
How can I continue to tell our story without riding roughshod over their right to privacy?
Should I focus more on myself? The truth is, I don't want to write blog posts full of my opinions and ideas on whatever topic is floating around in my head on that particular week. I am not a newspaper columnist. Who would want to read that anyway? I would no doubt find it excruciating to look back on such self-indulgent ramblings!
The reason I started blogging was because I was acutely aware of how quickly babies grow. I do not want to let these precious years slip through my fingers undocumented. I want to celebrate all that is hearth and home, to find magic in the mundane and to add my voice to the twenty first century narrative of motherhood. I also want to write about our Home Education, to share our experiences of an education other than at school. I want to reach out to other people treading the same path, to reciprocate (if I can) the comfort and inspiration I have taken from reading their blogs.
When Charlotte was small there was no such thing as a smart phone or digital photographs. Nowadays, we can snap high quality images by the dozen every single day and view those images instantly.
It means that we can capture the 'important' images, the milestones and achievements, but we can also capture the moments that were absent from the photograph albums of our mothers' generation. The cooking, baking and crafting. The sheer hard work of domestic labour. The minutiae of life with very young children. The towering laundry pile, the first few rows of a new knitting project, the pile of washing up in the sink.
The moments of pure, spontaneous and completely ordinary joy which signify nothing but mean so much. I will find the line between privacy and sharing and I will try very hard not to cross it. And I will continue to tell our story.